As Seen Through the -4.00′s: Olive Garden Adventures

Ok so I know it has been a minute since I actually wrote on this thing. Life has been busy and some of the more interesting things just haven’t been there. So I have a few things to write about now. So Let’s GO!!!

So me and my girls Sukie and Meezy decide to go to Olive Garden for lunch. I’m not sure why, but when the three of us get together, strange things are often seen to say the least. Right off the bat, this “person” sits us. Now my first question is, was that a man or a woman. I believe we were 2 to 1 that it was a man. Now he had the hair up in a clip and everything else. So of course I have to duck my head behind the menu, as I am laughing and my two compatriots have decided they will not involve themselves in my joyous times. Little did they know that was just the first in a line of odd things we would see.

Up comes our server. She proceeds to tell us about how there may not be some drinks on the menu and she pulls this book out her pocket and just starts furiously flipping through the book to show Meezy the various drinks. Problem is she didn’t stop anywhere long enough to see what was on the page. And even though I may have been the only one to find humor in this, Meezy goes, “I just want a water.” Once she leaves I immediately tell them that I think our server is a crackhead! I mean she was seriously acting like she was just trying to sell us something so she could get the next hit! I was actually surprised she didn’t say, “I’ll suck your…” Well you get the picture.

Eventually the crackhead brings us our salad which happened to be after other people seated after us got their’s from their non-crackhead server. As she is about to leave I ask her for some extra napkins. Well apparently she didn’t hear me so she decides to behind down within a foot of my face to ask me to repeat. Uncomfortably I repeat my request, while looking around and thinking, “why is this woman so damn close to me!” Then it dawned on me, these are crackhead tactics, so I immediately confirm my wallet is still in place!

Now I know what you all are saying. “Stop calling this girl a crackhead. That’s not nice.” Well let me tell you what happened next!

We finish eating and get our separate checks and pay. When she comes back with our cards she says, “Check to make sure those are your cards because I have some extra.” That may not be verbatim, but essentially that was it, while she was holding two other people’s credit cards in her hand! So I ask you, is this not the sly work of the crack fiends among us?

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